I should be sponsored by Trojan
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
