She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
