I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
