dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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