my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
