I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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