I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
she told me i tasted like america
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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