it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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