so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
