Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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