hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
