Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
