tell your sister to shave her snatch
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
