Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Randomize
