It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
