she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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