ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
