let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
