i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
