I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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