That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
no you cant smoke seaweed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
