I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
