A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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