yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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