NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
