All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
