Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
only if we run a train.
done.
Barsexuality is the new black.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
