you guys were way drunker than both of me
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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