we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
