Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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