Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Congratulations! We have a period
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