yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
