Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
