By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
