She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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