So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
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