Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
