He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
