to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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