So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Randomize
