Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
