every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
