i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
