Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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