I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
