My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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