I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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