There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
