Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
