Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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