dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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